The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
