My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
