Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Panties = found
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
