Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
