Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize