doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
