She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
