if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My ass is underappreciated
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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