Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Boobs are out for the taking
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
