You just made me feel so damn special
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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