Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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