I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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