Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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