I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
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I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
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The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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