At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
