Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
