i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
