Having a random hookup so left but love u
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
