wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
apparently the secret to your success is patron
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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