ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down