He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
