You really coming over, don't trick.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
