I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine