Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Farmville is her only friend.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.