umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
