Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
