I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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