you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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