Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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