Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize