I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
