my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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