finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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