worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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