My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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