I'm eating all of the evidence.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
