he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
