Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
