Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Ketchup is God's man juice
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
