The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
