let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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