he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you would pick up someone in the library
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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