like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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