So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
