Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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