I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize