you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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