At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
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LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
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I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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