blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
there is glitter all over my balls
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
