you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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