i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
