They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Randomize
