Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
