Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
