i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
