Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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