I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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