apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
