u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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