if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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