he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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