All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize