I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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