She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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