Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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