Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
