Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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