just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The best revenge is premature balding
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
