Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
