i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
