i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
