booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
