I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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