are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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